i'm a novice, you're aquarius

Can't believe how long its been since I've written on this thing.

Holy hell.

It was really great seeing you this week SC. It felt grounding in a way. Like right before I went home for Christmas I just had this huge ball of nervous energy sitting right under my chin. And it sort of melted with the usual weird family jokes, with the perforation of the smell of woodsmoke and with my Dad's semi-bemused complaints of times when he had to interact with other human beings.

Danielle is gone to this place on the Lower Mainland, where she is from. Everyone she knows seems to have a vaguely punk-rock past. Some of them even lived at this place called the Dick Farm, which I am infinitely curious about. Her friends have semi-professional job titles but their first names are straight out of 1960s sci-fi movies staring a couple of slick dudes.  She went to stay with her best friend for New Years, who has a couple of dachshunds and a boyfriend who exists as a bag of sand with a hole in it.

I am supposed to be hosting New Years tomorrow night. But I kind of would rather just get drunk and watch movies with Tyson and Deimena. Even though I know that every stick of their furniture has been sat on naked.

I'm going to do a top seven list of useless news items, a la Laura V. Because I exist to flatter her through shameless copying.

1. My dad's magnolia tree- Edith, under whom is buried the ashes of my grandmother- is finally kicking back to life after being flattened by snow last winter.

2. We still call Christmas dessert "that banana shit." Actually banana torte made by the one and only J. Delaney, the name was re-invented by one of the eloquent teen boys that I happen to spend every holiday with.

3.Climbed a very tall hill with my family and near the top my mom complained endlessly that she was going to die, and to go on without her.

4. The boss man is going through a midlife crisis, so say the office gossips. All I know is that he just got a divorce and a Harley and is oh so happy. So I don't see what the issue is. Even if he is the one person I could see turning out to be a serial killer. He never fucking blinks.

5. Wrote my first fan letter to a podcast I listen to. Based out of Portland, its just basically music but every once in a while they go off on tangents. So long story short, now whenever Canada is mentioned they will throw my name in. Like today they were trying to conjugate Canadian politics and eventually they throw down: "Well that was for Emma."
Hello, yes?

6. Apparently Polar Bear swimming is being revived this year. We say that every year though.

7. My bro subscribed me to Mcsweeneys for the coming year. Wooooooooooo

happyholidays

I just finished watching this movie "Blue is the warmest colour". I have this feeling that anyone could come out of this movie thinking they might be a lesbian. I'm convinced that Sabo would love it. There were scenes that were porn by any other definition, but since they were placed in a story alongside french speaking actors and actresses, it's art. It's a film festival film.

I need some eggnog, argh.

Nature vs. Nurture

 

Here are 7 really interesting things that happened this week, some of them to yours truly:

1) This mountie in New Brunswick was caught openly smoking an illicit substance that is also leafy and green. While in uniform. Ostensibly to deal with PTSD. And then, after he disappeared, his comrades in the red serge tracked him down, a scuffle broke out, and he was charged with assault. Although the poor man was likely mentally disturbed, please keep in mind that he has lost his job for behavior that is comparatively mild when held against the standard that is Rob Ford.

2) A certain husky discovered that puking on the carpet can effectively disrupt intimate moments between certain individuals.

3) I scampered over to the Philosophy Department to hand in an essay by the 4pm deadline and was told that my professor had just "hopped on a plane to Germany."

4) I met this girl who is astonishingly similar to S. Lyons, except that she is less racist and a bit shorter.

5) A porcupine with a prehensile tail was discovered in Brazil.

6) I managed to cram 4040 years of Chinese dynastic history into 16 pages and 2 hours.

7) It has been discovered that although you can buy an expensive camera and take fancy pictures with funny effects (as evidenced above), you can also do this with your stupid iPhone, which makes me very grumpy indeed.

'Tis the season. I hope that the two of you are taking full advantage of the eggnog that is available In Stores Now.   

Lumps to date- None.

What's up bums?

I've been listening to the same songs over and over tonight. It's just one of those nights. I also made some really good roasted potatoes (a la Jamie Oliver) and I'm left here with chapped lips. And the lame part is that they arn't even from kissing too much, it's just a sickness natalie gave to me saturday night at a marimba gig (isn't the information I told you SHOCKING).

Funny thing I had this dream a couple nights ago about seeing carter in a shop with his new girlfriend, and I was imaging how she looked. It ended up with her being a everyday-brown-haired-girl. The shop was an italian pizza place and I guess I was heading off to you, because I went up to him and said hi and the usual connection of conversation happened, which led to me just saying "I'm going to see fire-crotch. I know you know who that is." And he gave me the most confusing eyes, and I just left. I woke up laughing. I wonder if I can kick start that situation in real life. Ultimate forced deja-vu.

A couple days ago it was suppose to snow, obviously it didn't and I'm a bit bummed out. I talked to Janina today, which was nice. Em, you should talk to her more. She's trying to change and go to school in london now! Also, why doesn't tyson has facebook anymore? Tell him I said hi. I didn't pay my phone this month and I'm without checking up on people.

I'm in the midst of writing christmas cards, and I got extra sparkly ones this year. Hopefully you like them, I've been in a letter writing mood. The problem arises afterwards where i just don't end up sending them. I've probably wrote 3 to you in the last week or at least started three, and they are just sitting there. It's depressing, among other things. I need hot chocolate and a hug.

Here's the songs I was talking about-

1- http://hypem.com/track/1xr8g/Vance+Joy+-+Riptide+%2F%2F%2F+FlicFlac+Edit
2-http://hypem.com/track/20w6w/Ed+Sheeran+-+I+See+Fire+(Kygo+Remix)
3-http://hypem.com/track/1zm6w/Mapei+-+Don't+Wait

I don't know why I've been listening to them, and it annoys me that some bits are super tehcnoey dance-club, but they are there.

Be safe and take care,
Sarah


Also, before I forget, I think the following would be a perfect scene for a movie. Follow me.

You have this bearded man who owns a rock and roll pub. On Monday nights he rents it out to 3 classes of tango goers. They are all middle age women who desperately need excitement in their lives and try to live it by cheating on their love ones.There is a rumor that they even remove their wedding rings before entering the classes. The pub owners one goal is to be their next sexual disaster.  I imagine theses women to be very done up, to the point of how flamenco dancers look.

The Heart Wears a Tshirt in the Pool

It's so cold in this house. I know I have to wash my hair but the idea of taking off a single article of clothing is enough to make my skin shrivel. And I have no will to clean anything up but I keep spilling. I have turned the light off in the kitchen.

I was behind a girl at the grocery store today who was buying a single carrot, a single tomato and a box of tampons. I resisted the urge to throw sausages at her.

I'm awake and wishing I had things which I obviously do not have at this current moment in time. LIKE FOOD

I'm currently just finishing up a message to Cyrus about this neat video I just watched and thought I would post something here, making the point that I'm not totally anti-social.

Life recently has been interesting. I've met a neat new person (which I consider a breakthrough in Parksville), and I've hung out with her a couple times over the the last two weeks. Mostly just going for walks and baking/ watching movies (sofar). She's one of those girls who are too nice for kicks and is really easy to talk to. I also just had a coffee date with Carm, which is awesome because I never see any of the marimba people anymore. 

That being said, there has been a lot of quiet moments in between. I've filled it with either reading or working on this ancient architecture course I've been pushing through. Tonight the lectures were on "Christianity and the Roman East", "Early Islamic Architecture" and "Early Hindu Architecture"- all super interesting on it's own, and something that stuck to me were two concepts that I'm going to share with my lovely ladies--->

1) Outdoor vs. Indoor space. In the sense of how they built temples in the past/ kept not to congregate inside but to have for whatever gods, vs. Indoor religious spaces and having a roof and walls around you specifically for you to come to just do that. I'm pretty sure it was the Christians who navigated that route. But I could be wrong.  It's just funny to think that architects, maybe 1000 years ago, would be able to build buildings that you necessarily couldn't go inside, nor could anyone else. I don't think there would be willing participants in a big way who would fund that now. 

2) Domes = The heavens. 

That's about it, I'm heading to bed. 

it's only a paper moon

Well news: Takahashi got sent back to Edmonton after receiving a massage from a 16 year old girl at an esthetics school downtown. Apparently someone recognized him.

And because every post of mine includes a comment about Marketa's dog, you will be happy to know that I buried my hands into the deep fur of his face yesterday. He has take to staring deeply into space and barking at nothing. He is driving Marketa nuts.

Other than that, not a lot is going on here. My room-mate is supposedly going to Alberta tomorrow, for good. And oh yeah, I'm convocating on Wednesday. I wonder if it would be too sassy to thumbtack my degree to my cubicle at work...

hahaaaave a donut, Sarah Chezick

I celebrated my first day back to work yesterday by forgetting all of the myriad of passcodes and secret handshakes that it takes to do my job.

This house feels so very empty without Danielle. I am used to coming home to find her snuggled up in the armchair with a bowl of something and a glass of wine, maybe a few candles lit. Now I get home and the whole place is dark, cold, quiet. Doesn't help that there is a rapist that just moved in to the neighbourhood. Apparently supposed to be serving a triple lifetime sentence but is somehow living in a halfway house with an ocean view. Every grunt and wiggle from the nighbours has me reaching for my steak knife. Maybe this is the best month to be living with a tall man. Too bad he is never home.

And of course fate would have it that the detective that was part of the team that put the infamous Balaclava Rapist in jail to begin with is living across the street from Marketa. He is a tall older gentleman with a slight Irish accent and a sweet wife. When I take M's dog out he usually strains toward their house briefly before giving in to walk with lesser mortals. Mr. T is not shy about who his favourites are.

I've been watching the Great Gatsby for three nights in a row and must conclude that it is not very good. First of all the actors are too old. And I know that sounds needlessly picky. But do not pick an all star cast of middle aged blonde people for a movie about young love and brooding, Baz Thurman. 

Make it passionate, and impossible to touch

Yesterday my dog rolled in human feces, I kid you not. He went happily tearing off into the woods and came back with it liberally smeared over his ears, neck, feet, back, and embedded into his collar. Whoever produced the criminal dump took the time to wipe with toilet paper, but not to bury their poo. While squatting in the brush, I wonder if they could have envisioned two strangers knee-deep in a creek soaping their excrement off of a miserable, shivering dog.

Last night I went to a rap concert and got irresponsibly intoxicated, particularly for a Tuesday. Spent this morning's 9:30 class gazing around in a vague manner and trying not to spew all over the petite Hawaiian girl seated beside me. That being said, the concert was wonderful, really excellent. The crowd ranged from a 50-ish conservative looking woman seated by the bar with a bottle of Stella, to a lone fellow in the corner, hood pulled up, head lowered, performing a series of complex footsteps even when the music stopped. Douchebags and miniskirts were at a minimum, everyone seemed stoked and most people were dancing.

By the by, this is a photograph of a badass rock. If my face looks puffy and swollen, it's due to the fact that I had previously burst into tears at the sight of the cliffs we were told to scramble over.

Word on the street is that we will soon be acquiring stickbugs. Stay tuned.

Heavy Mitted Love

Tonight Danielle and I went to pick up a couch from an apartment close to ours, and we thought we were going to carry it home ourselves. Put it turned out to be insanely heavy and I somehow cut myself and was bleeding everywhere and we had to keep stopping to adjust and finally the two young guys that we got it from, who were apparently watching from the balcony,came down and carried it home for us. It was the best thing.

Yeah, we've got good food box here too. We used to get them at the Chambers house and split them between us because there was always a ridiculous amount of food in there, and there is only so much cabbage one person can eat. It's a pretty genius idea, same with food forests.

And I went to a lecture during the summer at the university because there was a giant international conference on (this is when all the geniuses were staying at Marketa's and I helped a guy from Norway with strep throat get medicine, and he called me a hero). Anyway the lecture was about human rights and organic farming, and how only a certain "type" of person generally has access to this kind of food, and also how we are always advocating for the rights of farmers and the right to eat good, non processed food, but we rarely think about the working conditions of people working on farms. In California relatively recently they turned down a bill that would make the use of short hand hoes illegal. Imagine the back pain after hoeing weeds in a half-crouching position all day. But long hoes are too expensive apparently, so the farmers association kyboshed it.
Ok I just found it in my agenda: "June 3- Dr. Patricia Allen on Food Security and Social Justice' and then underneath I wrote "problematize community as exclusive." Because I guess as long as there is a community there are those that exist outside of the community, for example people who cannot afford the food that they deserve as human beings to eat. Here is a link: http://www.marylhurst.edu/academics/schools-colleges-departments/school-graduate-studies/food-systems-society/faculty/patricia-allen.html

On a separate note, Tyson recently killed and cleaned up an imposter rooster amongst his parents chickens and we are supposedly going to eat it sometime. His name was Richard.