Much More Difficult for Me

Just saw an online add for "Vegetables Approved by Your Ancestors." Who would buy veggies from the internet, for one thing.
Kat showed me this song. This guy is in tents. He must have had his pride pissed on recently, you don't just naturally sing with that much pain. Note how red his tongue is...


Talked to her brother about the book that he is writing. Apparently its an American road-trip/coming of age story. He's thinking of killing them all off at the end. Isn't that always the temptation though? The ultimate ending.
As you know, November is the pissy mood month. So Gotye is about right. As is comfort food. Hopefully I can muster the brain power to write in complete sentences. Three papers for next week, baby.

I hate smokers.

How's your weekend going? Here, I feel slow, but productive. There's something to always get done, even though it will take me hours of just sitting in the same spot, I'm getting through it. I've blown through the majority of my list.

Something that was on my list this morning, was to get more rocks for the edging of this garden patch I've just cleaned out. I've planted garlic in it. But it was still lacking that distinctive feature. The line written on my list said to "go for your morning walks, why not make its so you can get a bag of rocks at the same time? " It seemed smart and productive. I found a canvas bag, and set to it. The eighty something steps down to the beach. This was 10 minutes after I woken up, seriously. I made sure of it that it was the first thing I was going to do this morning.  See though, i don't know whether that was the smartest thing to do. I felt faint. I went down the stairs, but bush wacked it on my up for the hell of it. I nearly feel over to the side, losing balance at least 6 times. The beach was beautiful that time of morning.  Too many birds and french creek looked like a prime place to have breakfast. ( mental note, once you come back for the christmas holidays, we should buy a bunch of croissants and nutella and take a thermos of hot beverage down to french creek for breakfast) + laura, you can come too, but I really doubt you;ll be in the oceanside area, but the love is still there.

I was slightly hungover this morning. Not really though. Just the impression of a headache. It was Forrest's 19th birthday last night. I rarely saw him during that party.  He was outside by the fire, hanging out with bashu and a million other people that i've seen their faces before, but never once heard their names. Bashu was there though, I haven't seen him for ages.

Before all that though, during the day time, the marimba mixed band (members from our band and the 8-13 aged boys band, well, one member) played this random gig. Carmanaghs mom is running for school trustee in area F (our area) and held this "soap box" shout out event. Old school. You stand on this make-shift box, and yell out your rants to the world. Everyone did it too. It was hilarious too, this one old grouchy guy, went up and started to go on a rant about how they should be bringing back mining and tree cutting to the area. Give young families a reason to live here, to prosper, so they would produce kids that would go to our schools, and thus any school closure is prevented. He seemed so sure of himself, and the conviction in his voice left a void in the air when he was done. Everyone clapped, but mine was the loudest. Even if i didn't't want it to be, it was. To readers reading this, it's not some retarded metaphor, it's actually just because my clap is really loud.

I agree on him in some accepts though.. Bring something other then tourism to the area. The fisheries are dying out (though in fanny bay, the oysters are prospering) and there isn't much to do. Bring something special to the area.

Other then that, nothing new is happening. There is a girls night, tonight at jasmindas (wish me luck, i've been feeling unsociable). They are watching hot fuzz and playing a game I've never heard of. My plan today is to find Internet, and find the lyrics to "danza kudro" and be this impressive spanish mistress and learn the words to it. It's in spanish. Just because i can.

ARgghghghghgh

november 2end was my brothers and dads birthday!! intense!!! happy birthday.
It's been cold lately, I don't know its similar weather down in victoria, but it;'s cold here. Leaves are falling everywhere.
I spent the day at the carson's residence (seriously, all day, 10-6) getting and trying to work on the presskit, we've made massive headway. Though, it was alot of waiting around. Don't take me wrong, I'm thankful that carm's mom was helping us out, but it was a slow process. I froze slowly in time spent. It's been one of the few days too, that i've spent the day hungry. I didn't want to eat yonder, because i was expecting this gigantic meal for when I arrived home. But still, it was hard
Other then that though, the days have been surprisenly busy. I got this letter from my penpal who lives up the road from sherwood forest. The girl is actually really funny. I like having penpals. Mortimer i mailed you a letter the other day, expect it eventually.

I can see the floor of my bedroom. It's been a forgotten concept. I'm also planning on planting some garlic tomorrow. i kept saying I'll do it, and then it ends up pissing rain, or too cold for words in the morning, or I just don't feel like doing it.  But tomorrow is the day! mark my words.  the words which are slowly spewing from my dry morning lips. my eyes glazed over with the remnants of the mornings sunrise.

har har har har har

and for the november 3erd words: I feel like bitting peoples heads off. I feel like sleeping, and going for a swim too.

Factional leaders independently cultivated ties to particular European colonies

 

E, you sound like you're sixty. "Back in my day, all the kids took PRIDE in their Halloween costumes. There was none of this here STOREBOUGHT business, and we all said please and thank you and kept our eyes downcast because we were too shy to look up...".

Speaking of Halloween, my mother told me that they went and had tea at my Grandma's the night of (she lives in town, and consequently gets actual trick-or-treaters, which does not happen in the boonies, let me tell you) and an older lady who had had a few, ahem, had dressed up her dog and was out collecting candy. Apparently, she walked herself right into the house, introduced the dog, and sat down at the dining room table. My father eventually made her leave, but Grandma was out of her head with worry that the woman would feed chocolate to the dog. Some people.

My current essay has been in progress for a week, and it is not going well. Some information is absent, the sentences are not flowing, and my head won't wrap itself around the topic. Not good. This one may have to take a 2% hit and be handed in Friday afternoon, argh.

Apparently, the woman who received this note was handed it by a stranger who then walked away without saying a word. 

S, I like the pictures from your marimba photoshoot, you look happy.

false alarm and paranoia.

(Paul Herbst)
So I never told you about my Halloween.
The only celebration that I was involved in included some really sad conversations. Friend of mine is not acting himself and he compeletly realizes it. He said he didn't want people to get the wrong impression of him, this person he was being was some lesser version of what he could be. He wanted to cry but he chuckled instead. The girl that he was admittedly using draped herself across his lap, then dumped  a beer on my head.
And sleeping in the unmade bed of an absentee friend. He has moved to a whole other ecosystem.  Anyway by the time I realized it was two in the morning everyone else had apparently done so also and all the cabs in town were occupado.
Woke up at 6:30 in order to be at work for 8, wearing the same outfit as the night before, reaking and hungover on an empty stomach, serving two soft spoken Oktoberfest musicians their coffee and their eggs.
Last night I gave mass amounts of candy away to children who seemed to think they were better than us. I remember being terrified of anyone remotely in the "young and hip" category when I was their age,  which basically included anyone at all who was older/ smarter than I. What happened to the days when kid's Moms sewed them something special to wear out, instead of buying them fuzy animal getups that they would only be able to fit once. What happened to layering against the cold?
Saturday night I went to bed early with a pounding head while people around me comited acts that God apparently frowns upon.
Tonight I will learn about Eskimos and Moravians. Face off of the century.

All Hallows Eve

You Can Look Alive If You Want To.

Not really sure why I'm writing so much. Maybe I have a lot to say?
Lesson on Caillebotte:
painted the 'Floorscrapers', which you like, in 1875, two years before his most famous work 'Rue de Paris, temps de pluie'

He fell into the Impressionist grouping by definition but stylistically he is a Realist. Plus he was rich.Thing about this one is that since Caillebotte was an engineer this whole work is mathematically arranged. Apparently the whole scene depends on a couple o' formulas. Critics hated this because you can't actually see the rain.
Anarchists hated it because it completely ignores the fact that 6 years previous Paris was a commune and people done got killed. This is about as un-politically subversive as art gets.
Today my boss made me eat huevos rancheros. And I found a five dollar bill in a pile of wet leaves at the intersection by the Blue Bridge. Almost fell off my bike trying to pick it up.  

Que la bonté et l'amour vous accompagne au plaisir de vous lire.

Some boy from Algeria just finished a letter with that written to me. I thought it was beautiful in my hungover self at this exact moment in time. not even hungover though, just clear headed with a touch of a ache.

I need a shower, fresh fruit and some water. All are too far from me at this exact moment in time. i woke up early and finished a book- like i knew i would. I brought that magazine that you gave to me  for my birthday last year and read through half of it.

I found a new favorite painting, this is it:

Gustave Cailletbotte, floor scrapers.

ps, mortimer, your writting toooooooooooo much. its nice though, it's like a short quick story to read. 

Just a Polite Little Brain Jog

Remember Muray?

Remember Tissot?

Remember Derain?

This is Post-War Blues

Just realized.We are one of the first generations in a while without a war to fight. I refuse to count the war on "terror." Or military aid.
Do you think that maybe Bush created that war to feel like he did Good, his father had the Gulf War, Bush II's gotta have his own hobby.
I'm in a hella-theoretical "our generation" discussion mood. Last night I went to Atmonic Vaudville and drank several pitchers of beer, talked for hours afterward about what we need to do to create inspiration within the apathetic artists of "our generation."
HOW CAN ART EVER BE CONSIDERED A HOBBY??? ( a lot of the time). I hate that word. It implies that you really enjoy doing something but you are too afraid/ uninspired to actually focus on it. Like "yeah Bob's a banker but he sure likes his little photography hobby." Bob should quit his fucking job, set up a dark room, and do what he loves, the asshole. And you know that no artist leans on their elbow and remembers those days as a kid when he was so good at banking... why didn't he pursue that?
How many people do you know who are truly amazing at something they do maybe sometimes if they have spare time. I hereby declare that it is required that you acknowledge what you are good at, and go from there.
Society (I'm saying it) has imbued this fear in us to try and make it on our own, with our ideas. "Life's not worth living unless you're sure to make it through," hey Dan Mangan??
Maybe I'm just on a high of people asking me my opinion and then listening to the answer. I'm so used to being over-riden by someone else breaking in to talk about diving, about marine life, about MLA format. (to use earlier yesterday afternoon as an example. Try to explain to a group of people about Javanese traditional shadow puppetry and somehow that's a segue back to science)
"I'm ambitious, when giving up"
Dan Mangan can be the soundtrack to my life, ay.

Do something for me today,ok? Today tell someone about an idea you had. Could be a dream, could be a story you invented, could be school related for all I care.
And write it in the comments below, please. I'm feeling bossy today. Best/most interesting/ original/ well thought out/ grammatically correct answer (also known as, chosen randomly) will recieve a mixed CD from yours truly. I'm serious. I want discussion.