i'm a novice, you're aquarius

Can't believe how long its been since I've written on this thing.

Holy hell.

It was really great seeing you this week SC. It felt grounding in a way. Like right before I went home for Christmas I just had this huge ball of nervous energy sitting right under my chin. And it sort of melted with the usual weird family jokes, with the perforation of the smell of woodsmoke and with my Dad's semi-bemused complaints of times when he had to interact with other human beings.

Danielle is gone to this place on the Lower Mainland, where she is from. Everyone she knows seems to have a vaguely punk-rock past. Some of them even lived at this place called the Dick Farm, which I am infinitely curious about. Her friends have semi-professional job titles but their first names are straight out of 1960s sci-fi movies staring a couple of slick dudes.  She went to stay with her best friend for New Years, who has a couple of dachshunds and a boyfriend who exists as a bag of sand with a hole in it.

I am supposed to be hosting New Years tomorrow night. But I kind of would rather just get drunk and watch movies with Tyson and Deimena. Even though I know that every stick of their furniture has been sat on naked.

I'm going to do a top seven list of useless news items, a la Laura V. Because I exist to flatter her through shameless copying.

1. My dad's magnolia tree- Edith, under whom is buried the ashes of my grandmother- is finally kicking back to life after being flattened by snow last winter.

2. We still call Christmas dessert "that banana shit." Actually banana torte made by the one and only J. Delaney, the name was re-invented by one of the eloquent teen boys that I happen to spend every holiday with.

3.Climbed a very tall hill with my family and near the top my mom complained endlessly that she was going to die, and to go on without her.

4. The boss man is going through a midlife crisis, so say the office gossips. All I know is that he just got a divorce and a Harley and is oh so happy. So I don't see what the issue is. Even if he is the one person I could see turning out to be a serial killer. He never fucking blinks.

5. Wrote my first fan letter to a podcast I listen to. Based out of Portland, its just basically music but every once in a while they go off on tangents. So long story short, now whenever Canada is mentioned they will throw my name in. Like today they were trying to conjugate Canadian politics and eventually they throw down: "Well that was for Emma."
Hello, yes?

6. Apparently Polar Bear swimming is being revived this year. We say that every year though.

7. My bro subscribed me to Mcsweeneys for the coming year. Wooooooooooo

happyholidays

I just finished watching this movie "Blue is the warmest colour". I have this feeling that anyone could come out of this movie thinking they might be a lesbian. I'm convinced that Sabo would love it. There were scenes that were porn by any other definition, but since they were placed in a story alongside french speaking actors and actresses, it's art. It's a film festival film.

I need some eggnog, argh.

Nature vs. Nurture

 

Here are 7 really interesting things that happened this week, some of them to yours truly:

1) This mountie in New Brunswick was caught openly smoking an illicit substance that is also leafy and green. While in uniform. Ostensibly to deal with PTSD. And then, after he disappeared, his comrades in the red serge tracked him down, a scuffle broke out, and he was charged with assault. Although the poor man was likely mentally disturbed, please keep in mind that he has lost his job for behavior that is comparatively mild when held against the standard that is Rob Ford.

2) A certain husky discovered that puking on the carpet can effectively disrupt intimate moments between certain individuals.

3) I scampered over to the Philosophy Department to hand in an essay by the 4pm deadline and was told that my professor had just "hopped on a plane to Germany."

4) I met this girl who is astonishingly similar to S. Lyons, except that she is less racist and a bit shorter.

5) A porcupine with a prehensile tail was discovered in Brazil.

6) I managed to cram 4040 years of Chinese dynastic history into 16 pages and 2 hours.

7) It has been discovered that although you can buy an expensive camera and take fancy pictures with funny effects (as evidenced above), you can also do this with your stupid iPhone, which makes me very grumpy indeed.

'Tis the season. I hope that the two of you are taking full advantage of the eggnog that is available In Stores Now.   

Lumps to date- None.

What's up bums?

I've been listening to the same songs over and over tonight. It's just one of those nights. I also made some really good roasted potatoes (a la Jamie Oliver) and I'm left here with chapped lips. And the lame part is that they arn't even from kissing too much, it's just a sickness natalie gave to me saturday night at a marimba gig (isn't the information I told you SHOCKING).

Funny thing I had this dream a couple nights ago about seeing carter in a shop with his new girlfriend, and I was imaging how she looked. It ended up with her being a everyday-brown-haired-girl. The shop was an italian pizza place and I guess I was heading off to you, because I went up to him and said hi and the usual connection of conversation happened, which led to me just saying "I'm going to see fire-crotch. I know you know who that is." And he gave me the most confusing eyes, and I just left. I woke up laughing. I wonder if I can kick start that situation in real life. Ultimate forced deja-vu.

A couple days ago it was suppose to snow, obviously it didn't and I'm a bit bummed out. I talked to Janina today, which was nice. Em, you should talk to her more. She's trying to change and go to school in london now! Also, why doesn't tyson has facebook anymore? Tell him I said hi. I didn't pay my phone this month and I'm without checking up on people.

I'm in the midst of writing christmas cards, and I got extra sparkly ones this year. Hopefully you like them, I've been in a letter writing mood. The problem arises afterwards where i just don't end up sending them. I've probably wrote 3 to you in the last week or at least started three, and they are just sitting there. It's depressing, among other things. I need hot chocolate and a hug.

Here's the songs I was talking about-

1- http://hypem.com/track/1xr8g/Vance+Joy+-+Riptide+%2F%2F%2F+FlicFlac+Edit
2-http://hypem.com/track/20w6w/Ed+Sheeran+-+I+See+Fire+(Kygo+Remix)
3-http://hypem.com/track/1zm6w/Mapei+-+Don't+Wait

I don't know why I've been listening to them, and it annoys me that some bits are super tehcnoey dance-club, but they are there.

Be safe and take care,
Sarah


Also, before I forget, I think the following would be a perfect scene for a movie. Follow me.

You have this bearded man who owns a rock and roll pub. On Monday nights he rents it out to 3 classes of tango goers. They are all middle age women who desperately need excitement in their lives and try to live it by cheating on their love ones.There is a rumor that they even remove their wedding rings before entering the classes. The pub owners one goal is to be their next sexual disaster.  I imagine theses women to be very done up, to the point of how flamenco dancers look.

The Heart Wears a Tshirt in the Pool

It's so cold in this house. I know I have to wash my hair but the idea of taking off a single article of clothing is enough to make my skin shrivel. And I have no will to clean anything up but I keep spilling. I have turned the light off in the kitchen.

I was behind a girl at the grocery store today who was buying a single carrot, a single tomato and a box of tampons. I resisted the urge to throw sausages at her.

I'm awake and wishing I had things which I obviously do not have at this current moment in time. LIKE FOOD

I'm currently just finishing up a message to Cyrus about this neat video I just watched and thought I would post something here, making the point that I'm not totally anti-social.

Life recently has been interesting. I've met a neat new person (which I consider a breakthrough in Parksville), and I've hung out with her a couple times over the the last two weeks. Mostly just going for walks and baking/ watching movies (sofar). She's one of those girls who are too nice for kicks and is really easy to talk to. I also just had a coffee date with Carm, which is awesome because I never see any of the marimba people anymore. 

That being said, there has been a lot of quiet moments in between. I've filled it with either reading or working on this ancient architecture course I've been pushing through. Tonight the lectures were on "Christianity and the Roman East", "Early Islamic Architecture" and "Early Hindu Architecture"- all super interesting on it's own, and something that stuck to me were two concepts that I'm going to share with my lovely ladies--->

1) Outdoor vs. Indoor space. In the sense of how they built temples in the past/ kept not to congregate inside but to have for whatever gods, vs. Indoor religious spaces and having a roof and walls around you specifically for you to come to just do that. I'm pretty sure it was the Christians who navigated that route. But I could be wrong.  It's just funny to think that architects, maybe 1000 years ago, would be able to build buildings that you necessarily couldn't go inside, nor could anyone else. I don't think there would be willing participants in a big way who would fund that now. 

2) Domes = The heavens. 

That's about it, I'm heading to bed. 

it's only a paper moon

Well news: Takahashi got sent back to Edmonton after receiving a massage from a 16 year old girl at an esthetics school downtown. Apparently someone recognized him.

And because every post of mine includes a comment about Marketa's dog, you will be happy to know that I buried my hands into the deep fur of his face yesterday. He has take to staring deeply into space and barking at nothing. He is driving Marketa nuts.

Other than that, not a lot is going on here. My room-mate is supposedly going to Alberta tomorrow, for good. And oh yeah, I'm convocating on Wednesday. I wonder if it would be too sassy to thumbtack my degree to my cubicle at work...

hahaaaave a donut, Sarah Chezick

I celebrated my first day back to work yesterday by forgetting all of the myriad of passcodes and secret handshakes that it takes to do my job.

This house feels so very empty without Danielle. I am used to coming home to find her snuggled up in the armchair with a bowl of something and a glass of wine, maybe a few candles lit. Now I get home and the whole place is dark, cold, quiet. Doesn't help that there is a rapist that just moved in to the neighbourhood. Apparently supposed to be serving a triple lifetime sentence but is somehow living in a halfway house with an ocean view. Every grunt and wiggle from the nighbours has me reaching for my steak knife. Maybe this is the best month to be living with a tall man. Too bad he is never home.

And of course fate would have it that the detective that was part of the team that put the infamous Balaclava Rapist in jail to begin with is living across the street from Marketa. He is a tall older gentleman with a slight Irish accent and a sweet wife. When I take M's dog out he usually strains toward their house briefly before giving in to walk with lesser mortals. Mr. T is not shy about who his favourites are.

I've been watching the Great Gatsby for three nights in a row and must conclude that it is not very good. First of all the actors are too old. And I know that sounds needlessly picky. But do not pick an all star cast of middle aged blonde people for a movie about young love and brooding, Baz Thurman. 

Make it passionate, and impossible to touch

Yesterday my dog rolled in human feces, I kid you not. He went happily tearing off into the woods and came back with it liberally smeared over his ears, neck, feet, back, and embedded into his collar. Whoever produced the criminal dump took the time to wipe with toilet paper, but not to bury their poo. While squatting in the brush, I wonder if they could have envisioned two strangers knee-deep in a creek soaping their excrement off of a miserable, shivering dog.

Last night I went to a rap concert and got irresponsibly intoxicated, particularly for a Tuesday. Spent this morning's 9:30 class gazing around in a vague manner and trying not to spew all over the petite Hawaiian girl seated beside me. That being said, the concert was wonderful, really excellent. The crowd ranged from a 50-ish conservative looking woman seated by the bar with a bottle of Stella, to a lone fellow in the corner, hood pulled up, head lowered, performing a series of complex footsteps even when the music stopped. Douchebags and miniskirts were at a minimum, everyone seemed stoked and most people were dancing.

By the by, this is a photograph of a badass rock. If my face looks puffy and swollen, it's due to the fact that I had previously burst into tears at the sight of the cliffs we were told to scramble over.

Word on the street is that we will soon be acquiring stickbugs. Stay tuned.

Heavy Mitted Love

Tonight Danielle and I went to pick up a couch from an apartment close to ours, and we thought we were going to carry it home ourselves. Put it turned out to be insanely heavy and I somehow cut myself and was bleeding everywhere and we had to keep stopping to adjust and finally the two young guys that we got it from, who were apparently watching from the balcony,came down and carried it home for us. It was the best thing.

Yeah, we've got good food box here too. We used to get them at the Chambers house and split them between us because there was always a ridiculous amount of food in there, and there is only so much cabbage one person can eat. It's a pretty genius idea, same with food forests.

And I went to a lecture during the summer at the university because there was a giant international conference on (this is when all the geniuses were staying at Marketa's and I helped a guy from Norway with strep throat get medicine, and he called me a hero). Anyway the lecture was about human rights and organic farming, and how only a certain "type" of person generally has access to this kind of food, and also how we are always advocating for the rights of farmers and the right to eat good, non processed food, but we rarely think about the working conditions of people working on farms. In California relatively recently they turned down a bill that would make the use of short hand hoes illegal. Imagine the back pain after hoeing weeds in a half-crouching position all day. But long hoes are too expensive apparently, so the farmers association kyboshed it.
Ok I just found it in my agenda: "June 3- Dr. Patricia Allen on Food Security and Social Justice' and then underneath I wrote "problematize community as exclusive." Because I guess as long as there is a community there are those that exist outside of the community, for example people who cannot afford the food that they deserve as human beings to eat. Here is a link: http://www.marylhurst.edu/academics/schools-colleges-departments/school-graduate-studies/food-systems-society/faculty/patricia-allen.html

On a separate note, Tyson recently killed and cleaned up an imposter rooster amongst his parents chickens and we are supposedly going to eat it sometime. His name was Richard. 

Something Something Something

My life has been completely uneventful the last couple weeks. Seriously, nothing new to report other than me being sick multiple times (hey sarah, u getting betterz? wow, gotta get u sik again)-says the common going around whore cold. 

Life has been totally uneventful, that I've resulted to taking free classes online to pass my nightly time/ to see if I want to seriously take ahold university(which I think will happen regardless one day). One is Ancient Architecture, another is Behavioral Economics, Haut Cuisine/Soft Science (which is shredding my brain) and lastly, the newest one I just joined up for kicks, is some introduction to computing programming while learning to use python. 

We're also moving back to our old house on wright rd. My next door neighbor today decided he was going to help unpack, so we spent 20 minutes putting away dishes in the china cabinet. Hes three and named Sy.

I'm just tired now, my foot is asleep. I'm listening to Solomon Burke and wishing I owned a warmer room. And Socks. ps, add to the list that I want to learn to knit socks.

pss, add to the list that one day I want to copy a non-profit that supplements the cost of farmer market/local food for low income people. There is a non-profit in somewhere, USA that does just that with the poorer populations and they just raise money, that I think gets added to a "bank" of sorts to cut the cost of produce. I want to learn more of how they exactly do it, and what sort of problems they hurdled over to create something like this. It would also be neat to team up with this place in Nanaimo that I can't think of right now... that does similar things (good food box program) where you pay 10 dollars every week for a box of veggies that would be cheaper than buying them normally (they buy in bulk and divide the fixings to every buying). Awesome hey?

washed the dirt off our intentions, prattled on about bad inventions

Ran my first race today. Was beaten by a bunch of small children and was given a underarm rash by the free technical t-shirt that they everyone but hey. I happen to have band aids enough to keep the chaffing down. My family recommended that I grow my pit hair out for next year. Then my dad quoted Game of Thrones at me. I just found this picture on the internet and I kind of miss this time. But also not at all. Plus I had a weird dream about my prom date last night. I think there were whales involved.

Cutcomb honey in my tea? Yes, please.

It's hard to believe how emotional a ruined piece of graffiti can make you. I've really been enjoying following Banksy's tour of New York, but the idea of people being so petty as to alter, destroy, or cover up his work is stunning and sad. Perhaps they're like totem poles, in a way, and are not intended to be a permanent fixture. However, it's not as bad as one company back in the UK who removed two pieces and sold them at auction for upwards of $300,000, claiming that the citizens of the town "didn't properly appreciate the artwork."

I'm supposed to be writing a midterm today, but right now I'm quite obviously procrastinating. Read a Chinese manuscript the other day written around 200AD that claims if you're a good and honest person for a period of three years, fortune will return to you. It made me nervous, for some reason.

The boyfriend is listening to loud, pounding music in the living room, but it's acceptable as he's also cleaning the toilet. Our dog ran through a gate yesterday when we were out and cut up his face. He also knocked over some chairs, dug holes in the lawn, and tore up his sheepskin rug. He's like a destructive, not terribly bright three year old throwing a tantrum, albeit one with a propensity for licking your face and 500x as much hair.

Emma, we will be at the start of the 8km tomorrow, although neither of us will be running in it. If you win, I'll buy you some champagne.  

when we're dead or when we're dreaming

Amazing rain today. Honestly couldn't tell if it was falling up or down for most of the afternoon. And in the office we could hear it approaching- the rush of sudden pressure- and all three of us would pop our heads over the tops of the cubicles to watch it hit the pavement of the parking lot outside. We eventually had to stick an empty recycling bin under the consistent tap of a few drips coming in through the roof. And Jan drove me to the bus stop, which I am taking to mean that I have an in with those guys, like we bonded over how giddy the weather was making us.
My knee has been aching to the point that if I turn it in certain directions it feels like something inside is tearing. Doesn't help that I fell while cruising up the uneven pavement in Cook St Village the other night. A couple carrying a giant canvas looked genuinely concerned. Of course I fall down in front of the most caring citizens. And of course when I am exercising I turn into this aggressive machine of maniacal grins. As soon as I am down and bleeding I am back up, smearing the blood off with my fingers. Pain doesn't hit until I am in the bath later, trying to get the tiny rocks out of my skin.

Danielle has posted an ad on craigslist to try and find me a room mate for when she is in Mexico. We've had one response from a 26 year old carpenter named Angus. I am mildly anxious about living with a stranger, let alone a male stranger. I do not handle November well. November is when it hurts the most to get out of bed. And in November I graduate.

I've had a burning headache all day, possibly induced by the amount of wine consumed yesterday when Marketa showed up with her dog and a bottle of sake. Something about that dog. I know that he is not cute but when he is happy to see you its enough to make your heart explode. When he was a puppy some of M's friends dressed him up and took a million pictures of him, so that now when anyone aims any kind of electronic device at him he becomes frenzied and starts running around the house, trying to get away. The thing about fluffy dogs like that is that you assume that when they are running around with their tails in the air they are in great moods. Mr. T is constantly being chased from one end of the B+B to the other by excited guests.

Jesus Has Left Chicago

Just ran 10.54 km. I was trying for 12 but I just can't seem to find the extra two k's, no matter what loop I try.
Interesting things that happened on this run:
1) Was negotiating a couple that was occupying the entire width of the path with their hand holding, when they suddenly stopped walking and locked lips. This was not a young couple. I eventually whipped around them, sheepish as a pregnant nun, trying to make as little noise as possible.
2) Apparently that set the theme for the rest of the run. As I was coming up Cook and passing Rosie's Diner this tall, buff guy whips around with his fist raised. At this point I'm still a couple of feet behind him, and planning to just scoot by but I think he honestly thought I was going to leap onto his back. So he says "you shouldn't creep up on people like that." As if I need a carnival megaphone to announce my approach of Our City's Honest Citizens.
3) And then crossing Quadra at Fort I pass this terrible little dog that lunged forward and started yapping its ugly little jaw to the floor.

And I spend most days at work tearing my hair out over the fact that some people in this world legitimately believe it is ok to put their address down as gps coordinates on paperwork for a loan.

humming chorus

Well first real day at work today. No auntie protectress stomping up and down the hall, swearing and yelling from her corner cubicle. No fun "my aged" people with the ability to laugh. Just Jan and Dan, who speak in gibberish and only to each other. Who want to talk about sandwich toppings for as many hours as shouldn't be legal.
Anyway, note for tomorrow is to come home directly from work in order to eat. And to drink 3x less coffee.

I'm tired and I'm just sitting here drinking water.

I was woken up last night at 3:am last night with the man of my current love affairs telling me that he just fed/donated the money to feed baby seals through an online donation fund. I thought it was funny and cute, but a bit grumpy that my rem cycle was disrupted. life resumes and I woke up to only have to have a rush to my day. 

We played marimba like any other day. The day presented us was groggy, and you noticed the grey skies, and instantly thought to yourself to put a sweater on, but the moment you move ten steps outside, you're sweating and you are regretting putting on another layer. Plus where we played at the Errington Farmer's Market, the sound of our music was just off. I feel like it might have gotten better as the day followed, but that might have been me not caring anymore and just wanting to find somewhere to lay down. Didn't happen. I didn't lay down until I came home. 

I also went to thrifty's today to buy ingredients for "ENERGY BALLS!". I'm excited for the prospects of that. I'm trying out being vegetarian, or trying to find some middle where I feel good about what I'm eating and realizing the choices that I make with eating could be just weirdly make my soul and heart feel a bit more at ease. I'm still eating fish though. I don't know why. For instance, today I had a sesame crusted local lingcod. It was delicious. 

Plus being this new take on what I'm eating, I'm experimenting with what I'm eating and it's kindof fun. 

tallyhojoe.

I smell like carbon monoxide and burning tires.

Hey,

Becoming increasingly irritated by the negligence of people around me. This is the second day in a row that I have come home after a long day, and looked in the mirror to see my teeth full of crap.
Honestly. Today I spent about half an hour stuck behind some stores on Johnson street as a van caught flames and eventually exploded out front. I bonded with the other customers back there, we talked about the weather, about school, about the architecture around us, about how my bike was probably a pool of melted metal on the sidewalk by then, but not once in the smiles exchanged did anyone happen to mention that I had spinach interwoven in every single one of my teeth.
Thursday night I went out for what the Brits call a "hen night" (my cousin's getting married today). So we went to about 5 different places, got kicked out of one, which I've never experienced before. And before I walked home two of my cousin's cornered me and chanted "WE LOVE YOU EMMA" into my face for about 5 minutes straight. So I get home to collapse into bed and realize that I've had the remains of a terrible granola bar stuck in my grin. And the last thing I ate was at least 5 hours earlier.
Can we just agree right now that there is no shame in telling someone that their grill needs a scrub?

And I want to be in Parksville before the ocean gets all weird and cold again, not sure if I will make the street dance, I am very proud of you little lady.

See you soon.

Finally the skies are slowing down.

Did ja get rain too? huh huh huh. I hope so, it's good for everything involved. I'm a mess right now. I've been sick for the past week and now my insides are turning for that once a month guest. I'm guessing my terrors and womanly powers will be back to full strength in the next coming days, until then though- bleh.

Got two movies you should watch eventually (when your life slows down, and you feel like having a lonely, quiet night)

1. "Persopolis", a persian animation film based on the story of a young girl growing up and her reflection of the revolution. I actually really enjoyed the movie, and the art is something I can really admire. It's casual, but I loved how Marjane Satrapi mixes her blacks and whites- it's great. I should also say that Marjane Satrapi writes graphic novels (I read Embroideries a couple months ago and overall enjoyed it and recently just placed the rest of her books on hold at the public library.) I obviously highly recommend checking this out.
 

2- Nader and Simin, A Separation- A modern Iranian film (Farsi with English subtitles, 2011), narrating a situation between of a housekeeper of sorts who is hired to look after the father of Nader. The Father has Alzheimer's and the housekeeper was hired to take care of him until a better person could be found. Problems arise, along side tensions of a already divorce in the mix and you get an intense story that leaves you hanging in the end. Nader reminds me of Mehdi I think.. or someone else, I can't explain it and it was leaving me indescribably uncomfortable for the duration of the film.


Other than all that, "The Parksville Street Dance" has been planned for August 24th (A Saturday Night, starting at 7pm) and so far we have Del Larson Trio and The Fresh Pots.... We're still working on the lineup though. Plus Kumbana is playing too, just because we're the ones arranging it.

Hope you're happy and healthy. I'm craving poutine and beer right now. ARAGGG

Time for a curry

Sup Chiquita.

Got hit on in Spanish by an old guy today. He came through my till and looked deep into my eyes. And I've sort of ditched Dexter, because I have commitment issues, even with TV.
It seems like I've replaced all my TV time with outdoor activities and TWO MORE JOBS.
I've become the disgusting kind of person who runs to work in the morning. It started because I was always at least 5 minutes late, since my bike is out of order. And it continued because it became a habit. People glare me down for being out running at 7 am with a backpack on.
And I went rock climbing with Tyson's gung-ho roomate/ new best friend. It was challenging but fun you know, sun was shining and I was jamming by limbs and fingers into every available crack. New respect for the fad. And got a couple disturbing looking bruises on my upper thighs from sliding off a rock face. Always a win.
Ok about the jobs: One is actually volunteer. Z asked me if I want to be on the programming committee for Open Space, which sounds great to me. I'm going in on Tuesday to meet and greet. I'm a bit nervous actually. I know they are short on volunteers at the moment but I haven't handled actual art for 2 years. Plus I've learned in this past year that what I find interesting and appealing is often the direct opposite of what everyone else thinks. Lucky its a committee thing.
And the other thing is through my Aunt's company. She texted me today to see if I wanted a "banking job," which sounds a bit less customer service- y than "cashier" (I know its a desk job, something with accounts...) So I am considering that too. It's funny when your horoscope comes true.
Plus all of my relatives from all of my families are somehow going to be in Victoria at the same time. Talk about awkward time juggling. 

LV I am going to your house tonight, which is currently empty. To use your/ my scanner. And probably edit some photos and maybe steal some tea if you've got a good stash. Hope you are safe.
SC when is your street dance? I want to come- and which bands did you get? Going to be great.

All I've got left is a sore toe.

Spent this last week in Bamfield. We slept on Brady's, the sand never giving in to our sore backs and listening to the wind rustle up the excuse of the tent tie. It was an adventure for us three girls and it was surprisingly jam punched with fun to the max. Everything from boating around to this adjacent Island, trying to find the "lost finger", exploring the haunted inn/stealing a giant whisk, kayaking across the inlet to ask whether we could use the row boat, playing cards against humanity (can you say kids with ass cancer?) and ending it all with a bonfire with local drugged up fishermen and waking up to search for a wallet for a couple hours. All good, no bad.

Other than that, I've been up to planning a Street Dance in Parksville for the end of August. We've been in cahoots with various bands up and down the island, the Parksville Chamber of Commerce, Mayor and local Businesses. Planning this event has really opened my eyes to how much you really need to think when planning something on this scale. It looks like it's going to work out, which my stress level is excited about. Hopefully the group and I can have a meeting tomorrow at some point to see where everyone is at.

Miss you guys and I hope you're enjoying music fest in Vancouver right now. I'm just busy downloading movies and enjoying the lazy life. It's funny that you're watching Dexter. It's Cyrus' favorite series and a couple months ago I started watching it all. I'm currently up to date and wait every Sunday to watch what's going to happen.

TAAAAAAKE CAAAAAAAAAARE!

not so gleeful

Spent a couple of hours in the darkroom today. Amazing how loose and calm one feels after an afternoon spent in the dark, wrist deep in chemistry. The enlarger has a slightly crooked lens, somehow, so I spent an extra twenty minutes trying to trim the prints to something that resembled a rectangle. Unsuccessfully, as the paper cutter appeared to have an oddly curved blade likely retrieved from the rubble of the Blitz.
Have started watching that show Dexter, which has made the visitation of Aunt Flo a little more queasy than regular. And feel incredible depressed that my summer report involves television at all, but two jobs, man. The laziness is too thick to cut with a butter knife.
At least am going somewhere interesting next weekend, although it is still not camping.
And got the photos from that side of the road cam developed today. Sarah the photo of you is a beaut, minus the overall un-focus. We will try again next time I see you.

Amish Adirondak Holler

So today I made my first sex joke as a cashier, to a guy who was buying condoms. The guy promptly forgot his wallet, or was somehow robbed. I don't think I'll be cracking many more jokes in the future.

On the plus side I hit the Moss Street Market for the first time ever this morning and loaded up with veggies. I also bought a Thai Basil plant and a chocolate mint plant. I walked around most of the morning holding the basil directly under my nose so I could smell its perfection.

Also on the plus side I found a soccer ball on the way home, which brought a wave of nostalgia and not a scrap of sympathy for whatever hooligan stole the thing from Reynolds Soccer Club.

Laying in bed listening to a band whose name was scribbled into my moleskin by the guy who played the keys/ saw. Because I can never catch the name of an opening band at a show- maybe it is slurred or lisped too heavily or maybe I am deaf but a couple of Pabst will give me courage to approach minor members as they lounge against the bar.

I seriously need sleep.

I'm sleepy. I probably look sleepy.

It's 5:52 on a Thursday night and if you didn't get it from the title, I'm sleepy. Today was a weird day where if you stepped outside barefoot, the ground was cold, the sky was gray, but the wind was ridiculously warm. You never felt like you needed a sweater, but you were scared that in case it started raining, you might need one.

Jasmine and I had a meeting with the Mayor of Parksville today (How impressive right?), we were there to discuss some marimba matters. We are going to hopefully be offering free/by donation use of the marimbas not this weekend but next at the beach on a hopefully sunny Sunday afternoon. We wanted to know whether there would be any limitations or city bylaws preventing us from advertising something like that. We also had a question about who and how we would go about starting a street dance/block party for the end of august. He gave us the name of one of the city council members and now I have another phone call to make!

I want this right now.

How are you guys going to be spending your long weekend? My long weekend is going to be spent on Gabriola for a wedding (we're the music) and then Monday we are heading to Richmond to busk and play around the Canada festivities there. I'm excited because they are all cool activities and hopefully I'll be getting paid from all of them :) I'm feeling poor right now and I'm just hopefully going to find opportunities to get paid. If ya know what I mean.

I've been talking to Cyrus about the trip at the end of the summer, and if I go (which in all my heart hopefully i do) I'll be going to Detroit and maybe Cleveland! Sounds too cool to me.

I'll try and keep in touch better, I've felt disconnected to you guys. Cheers! - Sarah

You Should Close The Door

Watching a TV drama in which one of the characters is shot, and her last words while laying in the ambulance holding the hand of someone else's boyfriend are: "I just bought this dress."

Met a real-life stay at home dad last night who was bitching about how his wife comes home cranky and demands to be fed, "like a lumberjack."

And two men who were discussing how their romantic endeavors were "opposite caveman," as in the woman has to hit them over the head and drag them home in order for them to realize that she is interested.

Today at work I saw the back of Cowboy Chris, the new accountant, whose dulcet tones has all the middle aged ladies swooning, even as they are commenting that it is best not to get involved with an accountant. Maybe because they are what the literate call misers and what the literary call scrooges. The idea of being interested in a person just because of the sound of their voice brings me back to  high school, when I fell in love with a boy who bought two cupcakes that I was selling for some cause or other. I swear he only said two or three words but it was a surefire "coup de foudre,"  I was thunderstruck. 

And I asked a girl I work with what she was doing for Canada Day and she said nothing at all. Because the last time she went out for the holiday she was so distraught by the douchebags that she kicked in a nearby Starbucks window and got arrested.

thinking about the end

Worked ten hours today. Some people I know consider any time less than ten hours to not be a real day at work but I feel like my feet have been run over by a golf cart. I think my brain turned off about 6 hours in. Which left 4 hours of headaches induced my non-stop smiling.

And Kat is stuck at the lodge- you know the flooding in Calgary is because of extreme rain in the mountains. So the road up there washed out and all the guests were flown out by helicopter. Except the food trucks have also not been able to get up so I'm picturing scenes of Armageddon up there.At least everyone she works with thrives on difficult situations (they might call it adventure). And I hope she's taking pictures.

So now I'm lounging, listening to the doors slide open and closed and the easy rain slap the sidewalk. Can't imagine Victoria will ever flood but I can see it being swallowed back into the ocean. When I was a kid someone told me the island was floating and for whatever reason I believed them. Maybe when the Big One hits we will be swept away on an icy blue wave.

she makes the sound the sea makes

Seems like everyone I work with is constantly experiencing hot flashes, to the point that I'll turn around to chat with Kathy at the next till and she's got her black lace fan out and in action.

And I`m just picturing what my grandmother has to say about the flooding in Calgary right now, she`s in a hilltop neighbourhood on the outskirts of downtown (downtown is right along the river, as are the neighbourhoods of the rich). Her arthritis must be killing. Stevie Harper And His Sweaters is reportedly going to do a tour of the city, how generous of him. Meanwhile I worked an easy 4 hour morning and picked some cherry tomatoes up on the way home. Grown on the farm that is owned by the ex-wife of the heir to the Rogers Sugar fortune. Her son lives in the chicken coop and has hair so long that everyone thinks he`s a girl from far away.

Trying to decide on things to barbecue at Mama Dee`s house tonight. I forgot it was the solstice until CBC put on Vivaldi`s `Summer' from the Four Seasons. Vivaldi's Summer always reminds me of winter but maybe the seasons are wacky in Italy.

And congrats on being famous Sarah. You can congratulate me on not being menopausal. And for spending the entirety of yesterday's Rain Day in bed watching movies and eating cereal. Such is life.

 

Gonna go have a shower because as Carter would say, I smell like toilets.

so slow, yet my days feel full.

Kindof felt good tonight, walked around the tuesday night market and a couple people came up to me and asked why wasn't the band busking, I told them because the people are roadtrippin' slash visiting croatia, but expect us bus in two weeks time. It felt good to be noticed in a sense, remembered.

Tomorrow I'm spending the day in nanaimo and I'm hoping to get a couple things finished up. I wonder if any  thing exciting will happen. Doubt it. But it's kind of how I've been liking it lately. Predictable enough, that I can just focus on the things I want to do without being scared or worried about anyone else or anything else. It's great.

To end this, I'm trying to convince my allumni chapter of Katimavik to do a super long hike, and people would pledge whoever is in it, so the money would fundraise katimavik programs. Hopefully it will work out.

That's it. Miss you.

In the deep of the night, at the edge of the unknown

So feeling a bit better today. Except I seriously need to crack my back. Realizing that I need actual things/ plans/ work to do in order to get out of bed in the morning was a bit weird to be honest. Like normally I feel no motivation to get something done unless I have serious time constraints or a very small window of time to get it done. Which means basically that people who are always telling me to "write a book" need to put a deadline on that shit. Like write a book, due tomorrow on pain of monetary penalty.

Today I got a letter from my aunt, because it was just my birthday and also because she has no other way to contact me. In the letter she wrote that she is coming to visit my uncle who lives in Victoria in August and she gives me his address and phone number. GUESS WHAT. My uncle lives precisely one block over from me. I walked by his apartment building every day on the way to catch the bus for the past 3 years. I have not seen this man in at least 10 years.
In fairness he is my mother's brother and that side of the family is a bit distant to begin with, just because the Little gene dictates that we be as awkward as fuck, and also introverted, and perhaps lacking in generosity. But come on, man.
Anyway when my dad found this all out he went on a muttering tangent about Uncle Andrew, which ended with the conclusion that Andrew should get me a job in government bureaucracy. Hate to sound ungrateful but that sounds terribly boring.

And of course on the family note, the new girl at work today was talking about how her 22 year old friend discovered that he had a tumor on his stomach that was the size of the moon, and that he had no idea and had to have all these surgeries to scrape it out- and I'm thinking of my own poor family's medical history and breathing into a paper bag the whole time. 

So tomorrow is my first day of working two jobs in one day- split shift style. I'm just going to act like 11 hour days are perfectly all right and good and normal. If I can convince myself that I will survive my chances increase, right?

Feeling a bit listless lately. Took me a bit to nail down the word that was exactly right. I got out of bed at noon today because there was no reason to get up earlier. I repotted all of my plants just now because they are all outstripping their containers. I am making soup because my throat has been sore for a couple of days. And coffee will wake me better.

Ok. Gonna go spruce up.

So kind as one. Ps HBD CMAN KUROSH

Hey you. I'm glad that you're going to be able to feed yourself now. This weekend is still the weekend, but it started Friday with the end of "Bike to Work Week" in Nanaimo and yours truly in the marimba band played front and ... to the left. It was fun.

Saturday was dedicated to making Cyrus a cake and that just ended.. well it ended weirdly. But want to see the cake anyways?

That being said, today was dedicated to cleaning up and reading this book I got out of the library a little bit ago. It's called "The kindly ones" by Jonathan Littell. He's originally a french author, but this book was so well received that it was translated in a couple languages, and blessed be the English speakers, i am one to read it.  It's classified as historical fiction and centers around/ is narrated by this former SS officer who was present during some of the major events of the Holocaust and War. It's interesting and I'm really enjoying it so far. But of course daunting, because you are forever reminded that it's a 900 page book and this weird sensation in your forehead just nags on and on, like that "really? I'm reading this? Are you fucking kidding me? ".

In any case, this thought was brought up in the first section that is still lingering in my mind. One line that goes something along the lines of,  "They took our right away to whether we wanted to kill or not. They didn't ask us, and it was a choice that was taken away from me and others." And it later enforced (and will probably will be a thousand times more in the book seeing it's in a War Time theme) where an officer is told that 1000 Jews will have to be killed in reaction of 1000 blah blah blahs being killed. The Officer just took this and it completely made him go crazy in "how are we going to do this?" type of thing. He was also drunk and apparently sick. But still. 

This is a super interesting thought concerning war, at least for me. Because I believe at least, that the majority of people entering in the chaos of war, don't really, like really know what they are getting themselves into until they get into that point of no return and bam! In a blind of an eye, you've taken the life of another away (for various reasons of course) and for the rest of your life, you are trying to disassociate yourself from that aspect of death. 

Which brings up this whole other point of, disassociating yourself from death. Ten minutes ago I just watched a couple minutes of this video concerning the illegal fur trade in China and how they skinned live animals. In this one scene, the raccoon dog thing, skinned alive, mustered up his last bits of strength to look the people in the eyes. It was chilling and now I'm feeling really unsettled. Really unsettled and I'm feeling the need to talk to someone about this (I just texted Cyrus to come onto skype whenever he has time) but in the mean time I'll use this as an outlet. 

I understand that death is just another aspect of life, I believe it should celebrated to a point, but respected? If that makes sense... I don't know. Point is, today I feel like dissociating myself from it. I want to close my eyes and just make it dissapear. But I know that's not healthy nor is it right. I'm flimsy with character and this is really tearing me up. People die each day (thankfully no one close to me) and I'm just trying to find that balance of how I life my life, how I eat my meat (or not eat) and how I regard the end of it all. Do you ever think about it? Ever freak out or have any tips to deal with it in general? I'm trying to find some answers but I'm afraid it will just have to be a personal thing is how I live my life and regard it's meaning.

In conclusion, I'm slightly freaking out. On the good news, I might be able to hit up VICTORIAAAAAAA next weekend. It's sunny here in Parksville here today too. 

Out.

you forgot your love, today

Sounds like you've been a busy young woman, Sarah C. I've been busy too, applying for and getting job, running up and down stairs at work, listening to my new co-worker's stories about travel and intrigue, scrubbing every surface of ye olde chambers house.
But I mean none of those things are particularly exciting. Besides the job thing. And yesterday I found a camera that looks like this on the side of the road.

It works, just needed a little bit of duct tape and a couple batteries.

Also, Kat left this morning for Lake O'Hara, where she will reside until October. She left me with a mixed cd, good for the summer. Same as last year actually. She also left me a photo that I took at night while riding a bicycle. Actually it was her birthday and she was wearing a sparkly pink sweater and riding her bike with her mouth wide open. It's weird to think I will never live with those two again.

Nothing special happening at work lately, except this couple came for one night and ended up staying for 5 nights. And they went whale watching every day, and were mostly disappointed. But on their last day they saw 26 killer whales. So I guess they were happy.

You have no idea how excited I am about this camera. Dirk says it has a really fast shutter- action shoots anyone? Here is a photo I found on the internet, apparently taken with this camera. Reminds me of Blue Velvet.

You sounded funny there.

Hey you. How's it going? I hope well. On my side of the island, it's been relatively busy up until this moment. Today I'm applying for a bakery clerk job and deciding to go to SOS to find some fine fitting jeans. Also I've been promising myself to seriously start cooking some iranian meals out of this cookbook I keep renewing from the library, but obviously it hasn't happened yet.

Yesterday, as you know- I was in Victoria. We went down for a workshop with this drop-dead amazing marimba lady, and we came out instantly feeling like better marimba players. It was interesting to have a marimba teacher and not just learn everything out of books. Here's what she looks like... http://www.shumbamarimba.org/director.html 

We ended up eating at delicado;s to bug this girl we knew and then headed up to ogden point. Elizabeth and I walked into the setting sun while the others went for a swim. Jeeze.

What else can I tell you... I was working in an office job for a little bit. Medhi called me onto it. I got to work and meet this very interesting and nice lady. Her name was Lynn and she called me her "Star of Morocco". The monies from that is going into a "Going to see Cyrus Fund". Wish me luck.

We also did this silly camping trip a little bit ago, there was caves, we camped on the side of a longing road and I got to meet some new people. Weird but promising concept.

That's about it for now. Take care and let's see each other soon.

wish there was a place where we could rest

Today I got karate chopped in the neck by guess who, after sarcastically telling him to have a great day. M is calling this "too far" and has suggested we exact revenge by putting something funny in the food he gulps by the trough load. To be honest I'm a bit used to being abused in the neck area. My mom has this thing where she pretends to strangle the bejesus out of anyone who is teasing her. Although when she has been drinking her tiny fingers wrap a little tighter. Brett can attest to this discomfort.
This Sunday I have agreed to volunteer for a camera swap thing in Market Square, which will be interesting because I don't actually know a whole lot about cameras But I think the main thing is that I need to represent the photo club, which I can definitely do seeing as I seem to be its only member.Dirk will be there cruising around with his behemoth motion picture camera Dirk is a 40 something year old chemistry major who says he can get me a job at London Drugs (not the worst) and who has given me tutorials on the dark room in the SUB so I can spend hours in the dark and underground, as I like to.
And on Monday and Tuesday nights I am sleeping at work because Marketa is going up island with Caroline to her nude times retreat (naked line dancing IS a real thing, Sedaris didn't just make that shit up) So jacuzzi parties are schedules for above nights, if you want to join up, you'

ve got my number.

Rambling Man

Marketa's 25 year old big black boyfriend has started calling me Copper Top, or just Cop Top. I actually enjoy this nick-name, but the truth is that I'm fairly sure he doesn't know what my real name is. Anyway he calls Marketa M-Dawg so I feel fairly honoured to be renamed after a battery.
Marketa's son has started having loud sex with his girlfriend in their tiny suite,  which is a big change from his shy and boyish youth of a few months ago. He is turning 18 on Monday and is jonesing to get out into the world. I feel like Marketa will begin to feel better about this moving out thing is this sex thing keeps up.
All my news is work related. Moved into the new place, set up my stuff, and now waiting to find my life calling. Which of course will probably not sprout up on Craigslist. I think I'm going to start looking around for volunteer opportunities, and a more permanent job.
I want desperately to travel but at the moment I don't even have enough cash to renew my passport.

labas

Hey guys, how's everything going? I hope you are alllllll enjoying the sun (you especially Laura- I haven't seen you in ages). Over here on my end things are moving slowly. This picture is good example of new AND  old.

needs more sun.

That's sad that her future husband is not her future husband no more. I hope she'll be alright.
Over here on my end, we're finally moved into my new place. It's nice and new. Except I really don't have a room yet. But we'll see about that in the coming days/weeks.

I'm tired right now. Super tired. I'm currently at the library bumming off internet because the home doesn't have it yet. We arn't that organized.

I'm aslo starving. So hear me world- If you want to bring me food, please do.
Until then, here is a picture of an adorable seal:

Everything is making me want to cry these days. Friend of mine got dumped by a guy she though she might marry one day, and truth is I don't trust myself to hang out with her, because if she's weepy so will I be. Instead I'm making her a mixed CD. Think that will work just as well as my physical presence. Just remind me to not put Avril Lavigne's "Happy Ending" on there.This picture cheers me up considerably.

thursday night spanish dance party

So now I'm cleaning some things up for the big move

I literally slept on a bare mattress with only a snuggie last night. And a kitten to keep me warm. A kitten that seemed to think my feet were delicacies and woke up very early to chase himself around the house. And who somehow got his head stuck in a plastic bag handle, causing him to rip around the house, towing the bag and the cooking pot that was in the bag around the house. That cat will be a youtube sensation one day.
Yesterday was April 24 and the first day this year that I went swimming in the ocean. Kat and I were inspired by this older man that was flipping around in the surf like a seal so we pulled our clothes off and ran in. It lasted about 3 minutes total but it was fantastic. And now my legs are sunburnt as shit from trying to warm up and dry off in the blazing sun afterward.

I JUST WANT A CANDLE LITE DINNER PLEASE

I'm glad that you enjoyed your volunteering in the monsoon weather. I woke up way too early that morning and hours just started out slow. I felt like a fuzzy bum playing marimba in the auditorium, but the lighting in the room itself, was beautiful.

We stayed there for 2 hours, and then split up for a little bit. Carmanagh and I went to mec for what felt like an hour and waited on the rest of the crew to bring back the trailer and van. Before bracing myself for the weather outside, a pink super-soft sweater caught my eye. It was so soft that this older lady was just as attracted to it as I was. We felt it and were in awe. Awe until we saw the price- 75$ . We both then looked at each other and shook our heads " Not today!" "Not this month".

We decided to quick Victoria, because as you know the weather was horrible. It wasn't the day we were going to make our millions. We thought we'd try our luck in Nanaimo and it was the best choice. About a half hour out of Nanaimo, we saw that glorious blue sky. The closer we got, the better it was. Before the busking began, we all went for a coffee. Mortimer, it was the first time I ever ordered a double-double at Tim Hortons. It was a growing up moment.

We busked, we made some money. We then had a bbq at Carmanaghs boyfriends place and then the night was over. I was tired. I'm still feeling it.

In anycase, hope you're happy. This week is going to be a moving week, and the crew and I are going to be painting the ugly green trailer this weekend. We're thinking turquoise with some colorful trim.

Other than that.. In my heart and brain I've been thinking a lot about green spaces and been mostly inspired from the books I've been reading. I've been talking to forrest and we might be starting something up eventually. Who knows. I know at least a couple other people who would be really into it.  I've been getting inspired with ideas that go like this...
1. Why hasn't the city planted more ubarn edible plants and trees?
2. Did you know that green spaces can help lower crime and road rage?
3. I want to experiment more with vertical gardens once i move. I think I might do that this summer.

reverend plays on the ugly organ

Today I volunteered for five hours at a arts festival for Earth Day. I was in a tent helping kids roll water soluble (thank God) ink onto their styrofoam drawings so that they could successfully press the image onto a pendant. I was helping out my friend, whose parents are both arts educators and whose dad is involved in the Bowker Creek Initiative- which is looking to create better management of the watershed of Bowker Creek, which runs primarily underground from UVic to Oak Bay, making a vast detour through Cedar Hill. By underground I mean under infrastructure.So while I was explaining to Oscar, the wily seven year old whose mother thought it might be "fun" to sign her kid up to volunteer for this thing, that if he applied more layers of ink to his styrofoam he would be wasting the ink, I was also learning a thing or two.
My friend's entire family was there: both her parents, aunt, two brothers, boyfriend... and they were all so nice to each other! We were all stuck under these tents in the pouring rain and all I could think was that first of all my parents would never sign up to do anything like this, and second of all if they did we would end up strangling each other to death, in front of the children. I got brownie points with the mom because I had brought a couple of whole carrots and hard boiled eggs for lunch, and because I could identify the music being churned out by the onsite cover band as Van Morrison.

I wore a name tag around that read "Darla" all day. I also got a ride home from her brother, whose name tag read "Swain" who had "crazy eyes" according to your definition, Laura. As I was getting out of the car her dad handed me this envelope, and I didn't think anything of it, since people always give you cards for volunteering. But when I opened it inside the house $50 slipped out. As honorarium for my dedication, card says. 

Anyway, today has been pretty decent.

Anchored to the Tide

Thanks for changing the blog back to regular, SC. I had the hopeless feeling that I had inadvertently ended an era by advancing technology beyond my own grasp. But turns out that friends can always help you reign in that great monster.
I have an exam at 7pm tonight. It's ridiculous, but at least I was able to work this morning.

So I have spent the last 2 ish hours lolling in my room, sort of napping because I was out last night drinking bourbon with Sociologists (my happy little fingers wanted to type "Socialists" in there). I'm not hungover or anything, just tired.

New goal in life: have better pall bearers than Pierre Trudeau. He had Fidel Castro, Jimmy Carter, the Aga Khan, and Leonard Cohen. I think that man is amazing for his pure ability to assemble that very group of people in an emotionally directed task.

Either way I have decided to stay in Victoria for this next year, working at the B and B and hopefully getting a desk job at the Art Gallery of Greater Victoria, which I am applying for (everyone cross your toes). Going to volunteer at the Fifty Fifty Collective, got some prestigious titles on the line themselves.

Goal is to hit up Mexico in November, in time for the Day of the Day, staying long enough to see the butterflies. And then I am applying for grad school. One year plan in the bag, gents.

Just unplugged my sink with my own two hands. You realize that this new conquering of the plumbing-sphere  means that I wasted 4 years of my life not working with these apt and beautiful appendages.

After I got robbed I made a playlist on grooveshark that is incredibly sad. Like Sabo's boyfriend in his drunken competitions with his roommate to see who could play the saddest song before bed caliber sad. It's funny how many times I have lost my faith in humanity in the past few months. Or not funny, rather.
So that is what I am listening to. And eating almonds and guzzling water like it costs something.

Better get some shit done

It sounds as if we are having the same kind of week, Ritch. Except that you are graduating, and I will be here for a longer period of time than anyone thought when I started this stupid degree. Even longer if I don't pull up my socks and catch up on assignments/readings. Were you at a resume workshop or something?
Got addicted to a new television show. Girls? Nothing like watching privileged New Yorkers fuck up their lives. They have developed some truly horrible characters, although it is nice to see a protagonist who has a normal fat layer on her body and still gets laid on a regular basis. Although she does sleep with a 19 year old, turtleneck-wearing, bowl-cut-sporting dude. Another girl gets trapped inside an exhibit that consisted of a box made of television screens playing loops of dead dogs and vicious animals; the artist locks the door and refuses to let her out.  Creative folks can be a disturbing breed.
Talked to a good buddy tonight, her job comes with a free heli-skiing pass. Whooooaaaa. Woke up to find a visitor sprawled out on our couch and kind of liked it. It's lovely to have a place that people feel comfortable visiting.
All of tonight's texts from the boyfriend indicate that people are beating each other up in his living room. We're going to hit up some pet shops this weekend. Pet shop-shopping is what I imagine shoe shopping is for fashionistas.
Stay well.     

No One Tries

Hi,

Had a discouraging week so far. Today I learned that I am total shit at interviews, even with the unfettered ability to spin endlessly in a rolly chair provided by the kind office of the co-op army. Because there is about 25 employees of this office, all of them aggressively smiling middle aged women who "just want to chat" and "revamp my resume"
And all the while my friend's urges to come to Van this weekend because now he has beer money is whispering in the back of my otherwise blank mind.
If my parents weren't constantly giving me apprehensive looks from the safety of my imagination I would probably just cash in and be an alcoholic dishwasher, maybe for good.
I mean how does a person even get a job post-grad that isn't shining rich people's shoes.
And since when is "having a baby" an automatic status brought to you by FB?

Love always,
Emma

It's 8 thirty in the morning and I saw this and wanted it.

PIZZA FRIES!

Self-titled "the most Colombian of Colombian artists" early on

Oh Fernando:


Today is still a sunny day. I'm cleaning my room and trying to get a couple odd things done. (wish me luck):D I've also been slowly getting into Iranian film culture and following theses words is the first I've watched:


I really enjoyed it, I'm always a suck for female focused movies and that being said, it's fun seeing these bunch of girls trying to see a soccer game and then being locked up for the entirety of it. You get to see how the young soldiers/young men individually react to the rules that are in modern day Iran and how... I guess they understand why they are there, but wonder how the rules are. There is some very heart touching characters and this once scene that easily became my favorite and made me think: the young soldier stops on the side of the road to buy drinks for all the girls in response of the whole bunch of them being thirsty. Simple right? I can't explain it, but it made me wonder if we would be off better if there would be more men like that around... overwhelming generosity, or at least that's what Cyrus calls it. It's very appealing.With further conversations with Cyrus, he explains that there is huge emphasis on "the mother" in Iran, that women play an integral part of society and you show them the same respect as you would as any other (which differs from the 'over- protective-father type' that many surrounding middle eastern countries demonstrates. I really enjoyed this film, and in response I'm researching and learning more about the director of it Jafar Panahi

Hey Bring me tea and something sweet while you're at the grocery store pretty please!

I've been reading about Lebanon tonight. It seemed like a good way to erase a headache that's been filling my head tonight. It's weird, lately it's been I've had a series of harder-then-normal, pounding headaches. And in result I've been thinking of Elizabeth's past encounters, where it was a series of intense headaches that lead to her getting drilled into her head. True Story(more or less).

Things to think about (in accordance with Lebanon):
Neopatrimonialism
Consociationalism

yes I did

When I used to come home from dances in high school my dad would always ask me if I "got up and danced." In a pained voice too. First he would ask if I had fun, and I would mumble something and he would say, no fail : "No, but did you get up and dance though?"

Shit of course I did Dad, whose daughter am I?

I turned my left foot, then my right foot.

This is Mina Milk, who does a lot of ink drawings like this one, and also a lot of lesbian love scenes in the same style.

Removed my space bar today,with a deft flick of the towel from my head.
I've had some pretty interesting encounters at bus stops these past few days. I tell you stories in form of lists so that you might digest them nicely.

1- Today I was the most hangry a person could be. Sitting at the bus stop, waiting to get home and devour every scrap that I could pile into my hand. Sitting at the bus stop next to this woman in blue tinted shades with a pink wig over her full head of (brown) hair. Anyway the whole time I am glaring at the passing cyclists and she is muttering to herself about how many fucking cars are going by. And then she says, more coherently "Seven pounds eleven ounces at 4:20 in the morning Dec. 23 1968 the first word I ever said was shut up" She says this methodically, like she is testing her own sanity. And then the bus pulls up and we travel  one stop before she gets off.

2-Few days ago, sitting at the stop with a giant Renoir book on my lap, and about 6 others in my backpack and this smiling old man comes and sits beside me and starts asking me questions. Tells me that Renoir, near to his death wrote a letter to a friend that mourned the fact that he had never noticed black until then. And I replied that all the letters I had seen that he wrote were bugging his friends to give him money. And he said, did I know, close to the end, Renoir painted with brushes strapped to his wrists because his arthritis was so bad. And the bus pulled up and the enchantment ended. Like I was just another early twenties school girl lugging her books to school and he was just another old guy that lived in Oak Bay.

3- Few weeks ago, the streets were wet from rain. I was leaning against a wall, casual like, and this older man comes up and starts talking about how much his pussy cat hates the rain. And how much his pussy cat hates being turned out of this man's bed when the cleaning lady is changing the sheets.  And all the while he is pacing and looking up the street. And eventually he asks me if I am in school and what I am studying. And I tell him, and he looks pleased. He tells me how when he was a kid he was committed to an asylum because he was epileptic and they didn't teach any of the kids there because it was assumed that they were idiots. So he says he taught himself to read using paintings in books. And here he starts talking really fast at a low rhythm and I lose his words. He finishes by saying he got his bachelors, I think he said Harvard.
And the bus comes right after this so I never found out, really, how one teaches oneself to read through art.