This One is Mine

Hi all. You'll be happy to know that the saga of Gilbert the Seagull has grown by one more chapter. Here's what happened:
1) Arrived at work, drank Earl Grey and pitted cherries
2) Served breakfast to the masses- Gilbert arrives late with a freshly bloody elbow (?) pursued by "his baby"- this grey one of almost equal girth. ("He's an asshole," remarked Marketa)
3) Served the artist his coffee outside. Artist cracks jokes like "nothing like a wounded seagull first thing in the morning"
4) ANCIENT mother/daughter duo from Portland arrive for their breakfast. They see the bloody seagull and start blabbing about autobahn societies, or something.
5) We witness the asshole-baby pecking the flesh from the Gilly's wound- everyone is shocked and dismayed. Arden swears like a sailor and threatens the younger with her fist. Typical (artist continues to crack ironic jokes)
6) Marketa makes up her mind, calls the SPCA like 8 times at which point it is established that we had to somehow wrassle the gull into a cardboard box and drive it down there. May I remind you that this seagull was not only enormous but also spouting blood everywhere. 
7) After about 30 minutes of  dicking around with the audience of one artist, one smoking redhead, one Tchek and this other redhead named M Gill stranded himself on the deck floor curled up against the wall (artist jokes about soaking food in whiskey to make him sleepy)
8) With a surprising and sudden spell of pure determination, artist corners bird with the cardboard box, I somewhat lamely guide it forward with a towel, artist pounces, Tchek folds the cardboard over the bird.
9) seagulls are surprisingly light.
So anyway that is probably the most exciting thing to happen to me this week. Considering last night I listened to the same song 24 times straight before waking up at 2 am to turn it off. 
http://www.artspace-arc.org/content/wood-push-wood This is the artist. 

Got 99 Problems but a Bitch Ain't One

Got home at 2:00ish. PURGED my room of all the useless accumulated fliers from over the years. I literally have a Paris subway map left from my highschool trip. Because that will often come in handy. 

Victoria is same old. Got stared down by a guy on a bike with a fancy hairdo and rolled up jeans. Got a funny earache from swimming in the sea (?) Got a lecture (number 23) from my mother about getting my teeth cleaned. Got a minor thrill when I discovered this morning that my childhood self had horded away Out of Africa for the reading pleasure of my present day self. Got a chocolate craving that will only be satisfied by something hard and black. 

Watched Jane Eyre last night with my parents. Had difficulty keeping my eyes open, especially when my dad gave up and began to snore desperately. I missed the whole middle section, but I did have a short interlude dream about sherbet. (The American way of saying sorbet- I learned this from a snooty guy on a plan headed to NY) Also yesterday- had weird daydreams while swimming in the ocean where the rich people live in QB. I was imagining that the water was actually those pieces of flowy blue fabric they use in theater to simulate water, and that I was flying between them. I think I might have been a sea otter in a previous life. Not only am I drop dead Cute, I can't seem to do much besides roll around in the waves, floating on my back.
Thinking of hitting up the Fringe play God is a Scottish Drag Queen, although it is at 9 and my eyes are already wandering in the general direction of my pillow.
For those concerned, Glibert was doing better last I saw him. he can put weight on his leg even if it is still bent out. 
Boz Scaggs remains my dirty pleasure.
Seeking out a location for a secret morning meeting. Preferably with coffee.

bapples.

That's sad about the seagull and the blood. Today, I was harvesting. Harvesting apples all day. Peeling them, covering them in lemon juice, decided whether to jam, sauce or dehydrate. I love dried apples. I'm pretty sure that's one of my top snacks as a young kid. And it makes excellent instant oatmeal when added.

I tried making this sour cream apple pie too. I first had it while in new york, and the night that Sarah, Jean and I all got take out Indian and take out pie slices and jean rented that stupid movie on tv. I remember good things about the pie. But today it was a complete disaster. Truthfully, I think it's the apples that caused the downfall. I think they carry too much liquid for a pie fruit. But whatever. Still tasted fine.

I also got a retarded response from something I said on the vegan forums on craigslist. I've lost hope in it. That relationship lasted less then 24 hours.

In the Morning, Waking Up To Terrible Sunlight

Continuing to read the Corrections. Allow me to quote a particularly potent little bit here:
 It seemed as if, in every motel that he stayed in, he had neighbours who fornicated like no tomorrow- men of ill breeding and poor discipline, women who chuckled and screamed. At 1 am in Erie, Pennsylvania, a girl in the next room ranted and panted like a strumpet. Some slick, worthless fellow having his way with her. Alfred blamed this girl for taking it easy. (Franzen, 2008. p.335)
It's mostly that the wording makes me chuckle as well. Like a strumpet.
Anyway this morning, you will be impressed to know, I cooked breakfast for 18 people. And then I went and battered them all with the coffee pot until they gave me acceptable acknowledgement. I think the best I got was a "fantastic."
They call me the "egg-slinger."

The b'andb's regular seagull, Gilbert, has been turning up in the morning with a bloody stumpy leg instead of his usual, perky, left foot. We think it is broken and he has been bleeding all over the bannisters at the back deck, about a metre away from the dining guests. This is not only a safety hazard but also rather worrisome. Gilbert's mate Sally (Sullivan until Marketa caught them "doing it") has been screaming non stop from the roof-tops, although she stops if you tell her to shut up. Seagulls are clever, that's all. Gilbert will stare down at his injured leg then right into your eyes. "Help me, goddamn it" He's been getting breakfast for 9 years.
Home day after tomorrow

hum hum hum

I'm not gross enough to post a picture of it, but I totally crushed my finger last night while playing marimba, and now I'm left for a sausage of a droit. It's dark, and blue, and sausage like. If there was ever a blue dark, skin colored sausage, it would be my finger. Do you get what I'm saying?!

Back to other news, nothing else has happened. I invited Elizabeth last night to be my date to Carmanagh's 21st birthday bash next month. We're both wearing dresses, shes bringing me flowers and I'm bringing her a loaf of freshly baked bread. It sounds hilarious and it really is. We are also bringing a "couple" gift for the birthday lady itself. You should try and make it up for the party.

What? Like a Panther!

Oh believe me, its rural. They already know their neighbours, for example. Also they have a fruit tree. And a basement.

Just picked the freshly grown skin off my knee that I scraped up on the Night When I Tripped In The Dark At The Back Door.
Can't believe Jack Layton is dead. I kind of wish he could have been prime minister first. What a legend in the mustache. I honestly can't remember a time when I wasn't aware of Jack L. in the back of my brain.
Anyway I'm signed up to climb a small mountain tomorrow. Today I ran 1/2 hour. Got thighs like Mr. T

brother stole my ipod. I'm stuck to listening to hypem and cbc3 all da time.

Hey good looking(s). That's really funny that you guys did the entire Sydney thing only today. I saw Matt with the lovely lady in waiting, jocelyn/ at the brimm tonight while doing the oh-so impressive meeting with the two lovely ladies about the TOUR 20112. He couldn't believe that I already knew about what he did with the victoria kids including tyson, and then he got fussy at me because I mentioned his "rural" new homecomings, he doesn't think it's so rural. I blamed you, because that;s where my information came from. But whatever, his smile was big, and I'm still jealous he did the Alaskan adventure. Maybe I'll do it too one day.

So tonight the meeting for tour 2012. We talked about applications and cds and some smaller details, but I have a feeling alot more is going to come as we work on it. the applications sound a bit daunting (it includes either the cd/demo cd, cover letters, pictures and so on and so forth...) but it weirdly sounds fun at the same time.  I think once I see the press release it will make alot more sense about what we are doing. We talked about perfecting pictures and camping during the thing and the possibilities of buying a mini school bus as the tour bus! That sounds so gnarly. I don't even know if that's even how you spell that word, I'm pretty sure that's the first time I've ever used it.

Anyways, the night ended nice with carmanagh driving me home and the sky being so pretty. If carmanagh ever reads the blog, thanks for the ride!

ps laura, I got your letter in the middle of last week, but I saw no point trying to force down a letter in the postal system to see if it could get you quick enough. So you get the reply whenever I return your rabbit.

SInking in the Sand

Hey. Just drove Tyson out to Sydney in a land cruiser with open alcohol, sweet potato chips, boobie jokes and two Muellers. That's too much meat for me.
Also Lady Gaga. There is a fine line between ironic "appreciation" and real life enjoyment of terrible techno remixes to terrible songs. Also, have you heard the Rianna [sic] song where she talks about whips and chains?? This is a tad too much for me.
Anyway it was nice to drive out of the city, in a car full of men. I've been spending a lot of time with girlies lately. What I needed was testosterone, wrestling and innuendos. I got all of these things and a pretty nice sunset over Elk Lake. And Russian paratrooper goggles. Perfect for leaning out the window at high speeds.
Was at Zoe's house last night. She named her fighting fish "Scrambles the Death Dealer." I feel like there must me another world in which I could come up with names like that and be confident in announcing them to the world.
Been looking up grad schools too. So far its LA and Toronto. Not sure if I could live in Los Angeles. I mean, could you?
Reading: The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen (great writing! Man, I haven't been this into a book since... Nikolski?)
Listening:
This has been stuck in my head fo evah evah

polynominals!

This week, like I told you, i'm teaching marimba to little ones and mothers with Sir Forrest. It's going as good as you can, when you have impatient little ones, and a deadline *preformance at potluck tomorrow night.

That being said, it's also fun. There this adorable little black girl controling the beast of the bass and her mother on the baritone beside her.

After ever practice, I go to the cafe down the road and have a hot chocolate and do an hour of math. The barista knows that I'm coming for a hot chocolate. The moment I come through the door, she smiles and asks " hot chocolate?" It's great.

The man and I are talking again. Thats really nice too. I finally had an alright nights sleep.

The Water.

Not worth it, baby.
Everyone is rubbing me the wrong way today though. Especially fictional characters.

No one swims in the ocean here- it is too full of human waste. How depressing is that?
If I lived in this house by myself I would run down the hill to this grey body of water (probably in the buff) and splash maniacally head first into the surprisingly warm water, float around a bit, then run back up the hill to lounge in my (probably claw footed) porcelain tub.
Also If I lived in this house the wood would be stacked properly and there would be flowers, goddamn.

oh lame.

He still isn't talking to me. Day ... since friday.

we go hard, cuz we always on the grind (she replies with : oh really?)

Not much to say. The sun has been shinning and the bushes have been exploding with blackberries.So much so that I got to be on top of the garage a couple days ago and be picking them. I was wearing this dress though and just came from DA water. I don't recommend it. My mom made the best blackberry upside down pound cake the other day. It was gone in minutes. And it was gigantic. This weekend is just finishing up some stuff and we are playing at kidsfest tomorrow afternoon.  It's early now, but I think I'm going to finish up a chapter of work and then head down to the beach. Go for a little hike u know? I've been reading Plato's republic lately. 10 pages at a time.

Eating za'atar and dreaming of Beirut trumpets.

Ben Grasso.

Was in a limo with champagne and cuban dance grooves last night. Apparently this is what your boss can do for you when you are turning 22. The birthday girl laughed graciously and allowed everyone to buy her drinks.
Unfortunately champagne is a little sweeter than I'm used to.
This picture of the house? The bottom half is how I am feeling at the moment. Even after my sandwich and cocoa with coconut milk.

seriously, too many hours.

This past weekend was long. It started 8 am Friday morning and didn't end until 8 last night. It included roughly 10 sets of marimba, hot sun and trips to the mainland.   The weekends food source included a bunch of free food, too much pizza, samosas, market berries, stomach sickening ferry french fries and this adorable huge heart shaped sprinkle sugar cookie and london fog dog god.

I swear though, there wasn't enough sleep at times and then waking up sunday morning to take the 830 out nearly killed me. But can I thank the gods for the great weather? Especially for our first "big concert" (harmony arts in  west van). It was in a crazy beautiful location and there was a violin trio that played before us with a young adorable goodlooking guy. He was basically like the canadian version of alexander rybak, but with less ego and a better back story ( he broke his...upper arms skiing and fighting off bears), can I say I have a little celebrity crush? Listen to "Humerus Breakdown" http://r3.ca/0Fxd. All Carmanagh and I could think about was how neat it would be if we could actually properly dance to this music, big 18th century dress included.
We also went to this persian market and I found these gigantic breads Cyrus kept talking about. It's like naan, but no lie, maybe 2 and a half feet long? The boys had to make the point that you could easily make a suit of armor out of the bread. Or at least sleeves.
The day ended with us parking at a funeral home and hitting up dairy queen.

it's real.

Finally got around to seeing Midnight in Paris last night. $2.75 for the nine o'clock showing. Everyone who works at Cinecenta is a writing student, you really have to watch your mouth.
"I wonder if Woody Allen likes Edith Piaf" sighs the boy whimsically as he handed Zoe her popcorn. Whatever.
We talked about Rapid Thigh Motions, the name of her running team, and my consistent hot-air-brain when it comes to art trivia. Like that time that those tourists sat around gushing about some sculptor at the Met that I had never even heard of.
So today I ran to the library (not literally, jeez) and got out a book about "The Revolutionary Decade That Gave the World Impressionism" after that I will read one about the "First American Avant-Garde" and then I will get back to you. After too much time spent in the stacks with cross eyes I skipped over to the much loved  noodle joint for a box of salmon pesto which I ate in the orchard of an old convent down by the bay.
Quote for the day: "In this bitch of a life, you can never be too well armed" -Edouard Manet.
Look how much I am learning already.

I let the drummer kick

 

On Friday, I am most likely heading off for further parts unknown, something that is both wonderful and scary. I don't know where exactly, and probably wouldn't be able to tell you if I did (hah! I've always wanted to be able to say that!)

It's fly camp time, baby.

This means I may not be able to contact you girls for the rest of the summer, so take care of yourselves and keep your faces clean and your hearts full and I'll see you on September 1st.

I'm in a strange mood tonight.

Such a Gentleman tied to the Oceanside.

The first night that my co-worker slept with her boyfriend, he showed her the "What Would Penis Do?" video on youtube. Now she says if they had slept together on the first night that they met they probably wouldn't have ever got together.
I am sitting here watching a man bike away with a VCR that he found across the street. It may rain.

Dayne is coming to stay for a couple nights. Sabo is a nervous wreck, but she always is. I have begun to notice the mood in a room completely changes when she comes in it. It's like her whole world is a stage and everything she does is for the benefit of onlookers. No wonder she crashes so hard.
Just spent the afternoon painting acrylic style on the living room floor. I had to refresh myself after that so I had a nice ten minutes of drawing really ugly people with a ball point pen.
Last night I fell asleep in the Mines of Moria and dreamed of sunshine and over large smiles. "This is the start of something beautiful disguised as something really really ugly"